the Jackass, episode #15

Since I have so many new peeps from the A to Z Challenge, before you read this or even after if you want, to find out who the Jackass is, just click his link.  For a quick reminder, he is theEx’s new husband, who completely controls everything she does.  Oh, and he has the mentality of a 5 year old.  So go read up on his adventures.

He seemed to be a hit on my Facebook page last night, so I figured I’d get everybody over here up to date.

I’ll start off with April 14th, it was a Sunday when the kids were supposed to come home.  Cheri drove out to the usual meeting place at 7:00 pm.  They didn’t show up.  She came home and told me what happened so I called and texted theEx until I got an answer.  She finally called at 7:33 and informed me that she sent me a text saying that she was taking them to the movies,  They finally get home around 8 (which is Trevor’s bed time) and the kids informed us they haven’t eaten anything since lunch except the popcorn at that new Wizard of Oz movie.  I turn on the home phone (it’s a cell) that the kids use but we shut off when they aren’t here and in comes a text about the movies.  I understand texting the wrong number, but if you don’t get a response, shouldn’t you text again or call?  Instead, we wasted gas driving to pick them up and Trevor went to bed late on a school night.  And if you know Trevor, has has to get his sleep or he doesn’t function well the next day.

Here’s where it really gets interesting. On April 27th, which was Opening Day for the kids, both of them had games,  I had informed theEx of this on the 24th, she never responded so I assumed she was coming to at least one of them and then they would go home with her for the rest of the weekend.  I have to keep them on Friday nights when they have things going on Saturdays because I’ve learned before that I can’t trust them to get the kids to their functions.  Anyways, I’m at work and Cheri is with the kids at the 2nd game and I receive this text.

This is all from theEx’s phone, not the Jackasses.

 

 

<- That would be the Jackass, pretending to be theEx.  You can tell by the periods all over the place and theEx doesn’t call it the farmers market.

 

<- We had plans of going to my brother’s to see my niece’s new baby and for a cookout.

<- Again, the Jackass pretending to be theEx.

 

<- My response letting him know I know it’s him

 

<- His response still pretending to be theEx.  She doesn’t use U for you like this special kind of idiot does.

 

After all that, SHE finally calls me from his phone but not until 3:41.  Which was probably her next break because she can’t use her phone at work, or his rather, because he has hers and she had his.  (*sidenote – according to Samantha, they switch phones because hers has internet and his doesn’t).  The conversation basically goes like this.

Me - “Yeah.”

Her - “When can I get the kids?”

Me - “Cheri has them at the ballpark at the moment, your options are pick them up there, or come out to Tony’s this evening or I can call you when we’re done and I’ll meet you afterwards.”

Her - “How long are they going to be at the ballpark?”

Me - “The games usually run around 2 hours.”

Her - “Cheri’s there and has her phone?”

Me - “Yes”

Her - “Ok, I’ll text her then”

Me - “OK, bye”

Her - “Bye.”

That was it.  I sent Cheri a text and said that theEx was going to text her and I assume they will come to the field to get them.  Trevor’s game gets done and they are sitting there, waiting on Trevor to tie his shoes (it still takes forever) and then as they are walking out to the car, theEx shows up.  So Cheri send them into the restroom to change their clothes (they aren’t allowed to wear our nice clothes to her house because we will never see them again) and while they were changing, Cheri told her “You should have sent me a text and let me know you were coming, if Trevor wasn’t so slow at tying his shoes, we would have been gone already.”  She wasn’t mean about it, just stated it (my mom was there and verified that it wasn’t said angrily).  TheEx said “I told Jeff I was coming”.  Now you can go back and read our conversation, I assumed she was but never did she tell me she was.  She said she was going to text Cheri and she never did.  I’m guessing she texted the Jackass and told him to text Cheri since he had her phone and he never did.  Because a little while later, Cheri gets this text from theEx’s phone.

Seriously?  This is how stupid he is.  Him calling her a cripple is downright stupid because he is worse off medically than she is.  The difference is, Cheri has a disease that can’t be controlled.  He just doesn’t take care of himself and is constantly in the hospital.  He’s had multiple toes amputated and can barely walk.  Not to mention, Cheri is by far a better mother to those kids then theEx is.  She doesn’t take care of them the 2 days she has them, she just uses them as a maid service.  This is the idiocy that we deal with.

Later in the week, I called theEx to tell her that the MS Walk was this Saturday so I would be keeping the kids again on Friday night and we should be done around noon.  She said she would text me when she gets off work and then we’d meet..  I told her no, call me, I will no longer accept text messages from your phone since your girlfriend (that’s what I call him when I’m talking to her) likes to pretend to be you.  She said ok and hung up.  I received these Friday and Saturday.

Again, these are from theEx’s phone, you may recognize the top message from above.

 

 

<- The JackAss, they cut his hair like they were told to.  You can read about why they cut his hair here.  They cut it into a mohawk because they thought it would upset me.  It doesn’t.  All I asked Trevor was if he wanted it or they made him, he said he wanted it and that was the end of that.

<- My new automated message that I use when I get text’s from them.

 

<- Apparently I’m a cigarette.

<- Again, my automated response.

 

I’m not sure what was going on at 8:06 pm that made him think of me but there it is.  I guess I’m out of the closet now since he made the announcement for me.  Basically anytime I receive a text from them for now on, I copy and paste that message and send it again.  It sucks, because his texting has brought so much enjoyment to this blog.  But I get the feeling, he won’t stop texting because as I might have said before, he’s stupid.

This is a taste of my world of dealing with the Jackass.  The sad thing is, I would probably still be friends with my ex, if he wasn’t such a douchebag.  Even Cheri has said she doesn’t have any issues with her, it’s all him.  I would love to have that kind of relationship with her where I could text her and say, Samantha got an A on a test today, or Trevor got a hit today.  But instead, I don’t relay any information unless I’m asked.  And she never asks about grades or sports.  All she wants to know is where and when they have functions or games so she can show up and feel like she’s doing her motherly duty.  At the kids age, that works for them.  Samantha is on to the Jackass though, she doesn’t like him anymore.  So as they get older, they’ll see who the parent is and who the pseudo-parent is.  They’ve even started giving Cheri hugs and stuff now.  Oh yeah, they are learning who takes care of every need.