I Made Money in the Porn Industry

Yeah, that’s right.  You’re all thinking he must be huge down there.  So that’s all I’m going to put in this post.  Let your minds wander.

 

Ok, not really.  I’m a guy, I like porn.  I know, your shocked.  I started renting them as soon as I was old enough.  I remember leaving the VHS tape under my car seat until everybody went to bed, then getting it out and watching it in my mom’s living room.  Yes I still lived at home at 18,  I didn’t move out until I was 20.  I also got married when I was 20, maybe I should have stayed home since that marriage didn’t end up well.

What?  Oh, you want to know where I made money in the porn industry?  I’m getting there.  You can rent the DVD’s here.  Yeah, there’s no link.  There’s no DVD’s, VHS’s, Blu-Rays, or anything else.  It wasn’t like that.  I know, your thoughts on my penis size just shrunk.  I WAS IN THE POOL!!!!  (Sorry, Seinfeld moment).

I worked in a factory right out of high school.  I worked there for 4 years before we got new management and they decided to fire me to make a point.  For a year or two, I jumped jobs.  Worked for a temporary service doing data entry but couldn’t get anything to stick.  I was getting desperate for anything full time.  I put apps in everywhere that was hiring and I finally got a call, for a video store.  The owner hired me, even though I had an earring and a ponytail and he hated both.  He rarely even hires males because as I was to find out, 95% of his business was renting porn.  And 95% of that 95% of porn business, was males.  Who generally would rather talk to a female behind the counter, but he hired me anyways.  It must have been the sad puppy dog face.  He didn’t like me, thought I was lazy.  I didn’t like him so I didn’t work hard for him.  He complained about me to his other manager,  she said give him to me.  So I went to work at her store.  Her, I liked.  I loved working for her and was constantly asking for stuff to do.  They started giving me more responsibilities. 

One of those responsibilities was to repair broken VHS tapes.  When people brought in porn titles claiming they didn’t work, the first thing I had to do was watch it and see if they were lying.  That’s right, I got to watch porn at work.  I know you’re jealous.  Sad part was, I had to watch all kinds of things I wouldn’t have normally watched.  I’m telling you, I’ve seen it all, well, maybe most of it.

Anyways, eventually I took over the main store as the manager, the same store that the guy that hired me ran.  Who was also the owner of the chain.  Before I quit, I was doing all the ordering, entering, stickering, sorting.  I was doing everything with the porn.  All the regulars knew me and we chatted about porn all the time.  I knew what rented well and what didn’t.  I was good at the job, I was a porn connoisseur.

Now back then, internet was getting popular.  I ran a bunch of ezines (internet magazines) that were delivered to your inbox.  I had humor ones, sports ones, recipe ones. and yes porn ones,  5 different porn ones.  I used advertisements on all of the ezines,  but only the porn ones made money.  So I dropped all the other ones and stuck to the porn ones.  I was in it for the money, not that it was a lot.  But I had very little to begin with.  That was the reason I quit the video store and went to steel construction.  The owner wouldn’t pay me crap to run 3 of his stores.  I threaten to quit and he offered me a quarter more an hour and would allow 5 hours overtime.  Whatever.  I quit there but kept the ezines, I brought in an addition $500 or so a year with them, and I certainly didn’t have a problem searching for more material.

I haven’t done the ezines in a long time now.  I no longer make money in the porn industry, nor do they make money off me.  Of course, that’s because it’s free all over the internet.  I may or may not still have a porn blog with pictures.  But if I do, it won’t have ads and I only do it for the fun.  Wink, wink.

To my wife and my mom who are both regular readers. Sorry!